Not That Woman

Reading across FB's News Feed, I learned that a girl-friend of mine had a promotion recently. I may be wrong, but I think this is her third promotion in 3 years. This is one big news and I am so happy for her!

"Why didn't I dream big like her: to manage an important account and handle a big group of people in all diversities?" And so, I wondered...

In my mind was a striking quote from the movie "You've Got Mail". Kathleen Kelly, played by, the great, Meg Ryan, said~

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void".

But as for me... I know the answer plain and simple... 


I am the eldest among grandchildren and it did seem "stardom" for me, then. You know what I mean about being a grandpa's girl?... all the attention and bribery on the side. My elementary years were my golden days. I studied in a public school:  a journalist-in-the-making, school representative in the yearly essay-writing-contest, consistent honor student. I even passed an acceleration exam which could have axed a year in my scholastic life. In college, there were semesters when I enjoyed free tuition. At work, some wouldn't want to let go of me and pledged to welcome me back. My life was a mixture of commendation and admiration balanced with spoonfuls of failures.

My first dream was to be an astronaut, can you imagine? I also wanted to be a ballerina. I wanted to sing on Broadway.

Say, I may have the brain, skill, and talent... but what do I lack?  Hmmm... courage. Yes, could be, and desire. To each, his own dream. But not everyone is able to reach his. For me, I did not create a clear-cut road to it. Watching "Glee" makes me admire the character of Rachel Berry, how she's willing to do everything to be a star. I could have been eager to go to several auditions, but I didn't. I wasn't like her.

I compare my friend's new role to being a female-president. Although hers was not as huge as bearing a country's problems, it still required tons of bravery, determination, and personal sacrifice.  Not every woman chooses to take on a big responsibility. Oh no, not me, thank you very much. I'm satisfied with governing my household and singing in the church choir.

If given the chance to live my life again, I'd still be a Kathleen Kelly and continue admiring the confidence of strong-willed women.



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Not that woman; God created a different woman in me.



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