Sunday, May 5, 2013

I said a penny for your thoughts and you gave me 2-cents-worth.

If only I had the patience and perseverance, I would have been a teacher.  But, I don't love teaching. What I love is "sharing'.

I love to watch and learn from history. When I was a student, I hated history. Reading wasn't my favorite thing. I learn from movements + sounds... not from letters. Now that I had access to history and discovery channels, it's like missing out on a huge bunch of ice cream and pastries.

I love to listen to elder people's chatting. Their simple stories were so profound and worth archiving, ready for retrieving when needed. I love to listen to other people's experiences. Everything, from love life, child-rearing, recipes, planting, arts, music, and failures-and-successes.  The very recent ones were from history channel's "The Innovators: Men Who Built America".  Learning the stories of Vanderbilt, Rockefeller, Carnegie, JP Morgan, and Ford were like unearthing billion-dollars-worth of treasure.  These men were just amazing: they all started (except Morgan) from nothing, they came from families with no responsible father to provide for them, they sacrificed playing for working for their families, gambled what they had for something they strongly believed in while others tell them it's impossible, failed a couple of times and in-debt. Failure was a very common word, but what distinguishes them from others was PERSEVERANCE.  They, simply, didn't stop believing and chose to hold on to their idea. It's just a matter of how big you wanna dream, and how hard you wanna work.

Becoming a mom made a teacher out of me.  As with other moms, the more competitive you are, the harder the push you give to your kids to take home those medals or trophies from inter-school competitions, annual moving-up ceremonies down to the title "Munting Lakan" or "Munting Lakambini".  One day, we were watching an episode from sailor moon: the villain said, "Kasalanan ito ng mga magulang na walang ibang ginawa kundi ang itulak ang kanilang mga anak na maging top" (something like that), then Hans said, "Ikaw yan mommy, eh".  As if naman talagang study lang siya all day na hindi nakakahawak ng any toy the whole time, duh.  Kids are persons, too, you know... they have different ways to learn so you got to give different teaching methods.  Believe me, sometimes, I just want to let go so he'd know how he'd feel without a medal, but at the end of the day, I'd prefer to hold on (???).

Back in school days, the most effective study-strategy for me was taking notes. As I was compelled to read books, I wrote my own notes to help me memorize. And it did work.  I simply needed to let out the learning that just went in. Up to this day, I get overwhelmed with all the brand new knowledge and I just need to share them so they could have a better slot in my blunt memory.  It's just sad that I've got no one of the same level of interest at the confines of my home to listen to me.

On things that I am most passionate about: weddings, music, child-care, love-life... nothing gives me pleasure  than giving service and sharing what I know.  Often times I don't have the peso sign to give, so I honor the newly weds with gifts of service by doing wedding planning and coordination.  I care for the music ministry in the church so much that I go out of my way (and sometimes, others' ways) to share what I know about music.  I get so much elated with babies that I share my experience and resources for baby-nurturing.  The list goes on and on including experiences in love; the values I hold on to, the things I believe in...

My joy is from people's sweet smiles for these unsolicited advice and service. But were there times when people didn't appreciate because all they needed was a penny-worth of my thoughts?  As perky as I can be, according to my brother-in-law, I also believe that I possess a high quality of built-in censor in me that'll help me feel when there's something going on in another person. That oops, I crossed my boundaries and it's time for me to back-off.

You see, there's a very fine line between crossing boundaries and caring.  Love fuels unsolicited advice.  But sometimes, I sense people not needing them then they get offended instead. As much as I enjoy sharing my knowledge and service to express my love and care, if people get hurt, then my penny-worth would be useless and turn into two-cents-worth which people hate. But I get them, ako rin naman, ayoko rin ng may nakekealam sakin. Really, it's a reality check, sometimes, it's better not to care so they won't mistake it from crossing boundaries.



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